Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or C-PTSD for short. Check out this site Out of the Fog for more information. This is of course just one site of many.
Their are a few family members that don’t want me talking about my experiences let alone writing it in a public format. They have no idea what this silence has cost me.
I’m going to lay a few things out. I own my domain, a friend gives me a heavy discount out of the kindness of his own heart. So if your looking for hosting please check him out Fits the Budget he’ll treat you good and please don’t forget to let him know I sent you!
Since I own my space it’s private, that means if you don’t know about it you can’t find it. It’s mine, I have nothing to hide. I’m not lying or stretching the truth. So tell me why should I protect those that didn’t protect me? It’s not like I use their full names.
There is not a single day that goes by that I’m not affected by my C-PTSD. I don’t know what it’s like to get up and feel “normal”. To not have some sort of anxiety. A week doesn’t go by that I don’t have a nightmare. Thankfully they’re not every night anymore (knock on wood). A few months ago I was finally put on a cocktail of meds that helps me sleep through most of the night. I don’t ever remember sleeping through the night. Not even as a child. Hell, especially not as a child.
You add on my chronic pain and it makes for a miserable existence at times. I try to live within positivity, love, and light. To look at the world through my childrens eyes. It’s hard, and I have to take it one day at a time. On bad days I take it minute by minute. But I get through, and I’ll be damned if I let them win and take anymore of my life away. I simply can’t stay silent anymore.
I feel the need to share my story. The good, the bad the whole shebang. I don’t know where to start or how to start, just that I need to start.
Because of my two mini strokes I find it hard to find words at time so this will be an interesting journey.
I won’t be posting all blog entries on facebook so if you want to follow along my journey of healing, please subscribe. If your on your computer the link is on your right. If your on your phone scroll down and it’s right under the calendar.