Happy Birthday

Yesterday my oldest son turned 29. It’s hard to believe that next year he’s going to be 30. I have a child who will be 30. It feels like just yesterday I was the one turning 30, and now I have a child that will be 30 in a year!

I was 17 when I had Jeff, got married at the age of 16. I thought I knew everything, boy was I in for a shock! Though I think I was more prepared than most because my childhood had prepared me.

I woke up around 10 in the morning and noticed a small wet spot on my waterbed. Not sure if I had peed, or if I had a leak in the bed I sniffed the sheet and there was no scent.  Pulled the sheet off the bed and couldn’t find a hole.  So, I called my biological mother whom I was temporarily staying with while my husband was at basic training. She said maybe my water had broken.  I had no clue what that meant.  14 hours later I delivered a beautiful baby boy.

The above picture was taken on my to my room after recovery, he was only a few hours old. <3 He taught me, unconditional love. I didn’t know it was possible to love another human being as much as I love him.

Here he is, not sure how old he is, very tiny.

He’s 6 months here. He started standing on his own at 6 months! He hit all his milestones early. He was also a premie which is surprising that he was so advanced.

His very 1st birthday. By then I was living in New Jersey with his father.  My biological mother had relocated from Kansas to Iowa. I flew out there so she could celebrate the special day with him.  I wonder if she appreciated the fact that his father gave up being with him on his birthday so she could see him.  Knowing her, I doubt it.

Last but certainly not least. Jeff and my 18yr old self on his first birthday. Gotta love that perm!

I got to see Jeff on Tuesday for a couple of hours. We met him at Olive Garden for dinner.  I’m not sure how long he’s been in town, but I found out he’s here until Saturday and I only got to see him for a few hours at a restaurant. It really hurts my feelings.  I don’t say anything though, it doesn’t do any good. I’ve tried in the past.  I feel like he sees me only because he feels like he has to, not because he wants to.

He has two kids now. A boy and a girl and I don’t know either one of them.  True they live in another state, but I feel like they come to Iowa enough that they could make more of an effort to see me and to come to the house, not a restaurant.  Come see me more than once, they see her parents every day, though they are staying with them.  *sighs* It is what it is….I’m just hurt is all.  Someday he will forgive me for whatever it is that I’ve done.

Regardless, I’m really proud of the man he’s become. He’s my son, a paramedic, firefighter,  father, and husband.  There is nothing he could do that will alter my love for him.

Until next time;

sig by Jules

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2 thoughts on “Happy Birthday

  1. Happy Birthday to your son! Life passes by too quickly. I’m sorry you don’t know your grand children. We rarely see our grand children either. It breaks our hearts. Yet they live only 45 minutes away.

  2. It really sucks. My wish for you is that you could see your grandchildren more often. My other son, I get to see his girls all the time. He just lives minutes away so it’s a bit easier, but yeah….

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