Flashbacks

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I’ve been having flashbacks of my childhood over the last few weeks. Memory’s I’ve repressed, come pouring in great detail when I have a quiet moment to myself.   I don’t like it one bit.  It’s like reliving it all over again but in a few minutes. Leaves me feeling raw, exposed, empty, and alone.

Makes me wonder  why no one stood up to help me.  Why wasn’t I worth Continue reading

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Out of the Fog

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Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or C-PTSD for short. Check out this site Out of the Fog for more information. This is of course just one site of many.

Their are a few family members that don’t want me talking about my experiences let alone writing it in a public format.  They have no idea what this silence has cost me.
I’m going to lay a few things out. Continue reading

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February 10th, 2016

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Nightmares assaulted me in my sleep once again.  I usually have to sleep for about an hour in the morning after I take my morning meds. Today I closed my eyes and woke up in my now usual heart racing, and shaking, way. I felt like I had just

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The year of Jamie

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2015 flew by for me. I had so many blog ideas and so many pics I wanted to share.  Yet there seemed no time for me to sit and actually write them out.
My PTSD has taken so much from me. It’s hard for me to sit and concentrate long enough to write a blog that  doesn’t jump all over the place and makes a bit of sense.
I recently came to the realization that I’m tired of being a victim. I want to be a survivor! My pain is not hurting those that hurt me in the least.  I’m hurting myself by holding on to the pain.

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Time Flies

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Wow, it’s already January 13th 2016. The last time I touched base, the countdown to Christmas had begun. Over the last month and a half, I’ve had so many things I wanted to blog. Ideas, visions, and just plain ole wanting to share things.
So comes the question why haven’t I been back before now? An honest answer is for a number of reasons yet at the same time no reason.

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Friday, Nov. 20th 2015

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I’m a depressed empath, with complex PTSD, living with chronic pain and fatigue. What does that make, you ask? It makes for an interesting, albeit miserable combination.

I’ve been a bit of a recluse for the last several months. Truth be told, it’s  more like couple of years.

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Disposable

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As I continue to work through my PTSD, I find that I feel disposable. I look back throughout my life and there are so many people that seem to just leave and don’t look back.

When my first husband left me, I felt as if my world was ending. I was young with 3 small children.  I was so completely blindsided by it.

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Emotional

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Yesterday I was up and down with my emotions. Having PTSD and depression, there are days where I have to take it minute by minute. Yesterday was one of those days.
When I have down days, I try to look for that glimmer of light within all the darkness. That glimmer of light is always my children and grandchildren. I really think they are the reason I’m still here.

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Sept. 24th 2015

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mabon20

Yesterday was the first day of fall. In honor of the new season I did some redecorating.  What do ya’ll think?

Yesterday was a crap day for me. I’ve been in more pain lately. Migraine, rib pain from my t-9 disc, fibromyalgia, and just the all over normal day to day pain that I suffer.  It never fails that when I’m feeling bad everything goes to shit.

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